In the middle of the day sometimes I couldn’t think about something to do when I am not working. There are times I would just listen to some random songs, read some articles, or just lay down in bed. My normal days of being alone is my comfort zone. Sometimes I would reminisce my childhood life and how I gone through everything. There are moments that I would think about my first broken relationship. I gone so far and experienced a lot of things, met more friends along the way. Sometimes I would think life is not fair but there are two sides of every situations. First you created it, then its your choice how to live out of it. We created our pain and suffering. Sometimes we blame other people because of what happened to us. But the truth is we are responsible of our actions, people are just there to do the roles that we want them to play as part of the character in a certain situation.
There are times I could just classified people according to what I see. But things are really different when you go deeper and understand their lives as an individuals. We all have different life stories. We have reasons why we are this kind of person today. We do experience the bittersweet of life, we fight the battles that no one knows about. But sometimes because of our nature as human its easy to judge what other people do or how they live their lives. Sometimes I am trying to put my self in their shoes so I could understand somehow.
Sometimes I would always think if there is someone out there who would listen to me all day even if my story is boring. I would think if there is someone who would understand and love me as a person and accept my flaws, and not necessarily change me into something I am not.Someone who would not change my nature but the one who can widen my world and help me to expand my horizon. There are times in the moment of solitude I found my self thinking what if I don’t experience my past? what if I never met those kind of people and what if I don’t experience hardships and failed relationship. Do my life would be the same? Then I have to refresh everything that sometimes made me end up crying because I would remember the pain and frustrations. But those tears washed my soul and clean up the messed that I made. My tears makes me feel alive and understand that when the rain comes it makes the flowers grow . I realize I wouldn’t change anything from my past, I am still grateful that I experienced them.
There are many times I really wanted to write my thoughts, but I have no courage to share it. maybe because I can’t find the exact words to say. But I know while I am writing this words, it is really what I feel, though I don’t have a perfect grammar because I am not good at it. I am not a real writer. but it never stop me to write what I feel and what’s on my mind. Writing is my way to express something in my head. I wrote a lot of things in my journal but I didn’t share them publicly. We think differently and things could not be the same because we have different point of views. I believe despite of our differences but if there is love and compassion it makes the world a better place.
“Life is like a maze we all have the same goals but with different struggles “